Today I share another insight that I received during meditation that was specially potent for me. Every month, when a woman goes through her usual cycle, she is gifted with the opportunity to release that which serves her no more. It was a long time before I finally recognized the inner personal significance that my cycles held for me. Often before a cycle or during a cycle, women undergo several emotional upheavals. Similar to when we are physically clearing out a space and it at first looks messy, only to be cleared and spacious afterwards, our emotions can be upheaved and instead of taking the time to truly see them for what they are, we put it down to “PMS” or “being emotional”. If there is no underlying medical cause for mood changes, more often than not, its the time, when your body says, “stop, we have some housecleaning to do!” and in that process the emotions long stored and forgotten or pushed away arise too, for releasing.
During this particular meditation, an old unconscious program reared its head. The program of not feeling truly loved, long inherited from my early years, through no fault of my parents or upbringing, but through my own “ego” arose.
It would be all too easy to lay the blame on the people who raised us, as being the propagators of these unconscious programs that run us. The truth is, as soon as we as souls enter our body, we immediately become limited to the senses and forget the true essence of who we are. The ego or identity that gets formed through name, associated experiences and labels, then uses the people around us and experiences to confirm the sense of lack that the ego or identity thrives on. This then runs unconscious programs silently in the background, resulting in a great disconnection within us.
It doesn’t really matter whether we have had truly present or absent parents, whether we received love or not growing up. Ultimately, as long as we identify ourselves with this identity of the “I” or “me”, we will never truly experience the complete wholeness of who we are, which only appears when the false identity self disappears.
Today during meditation and for sometime now, I have watched and experienced how this unconscious program of “lack of truly feeling loved” has manifested and limited me in various ways. This limitation has had no truth behind it, for each one of us has been loved by our own true selves from the time of existence and beyond.
In meditation I “watched” my brain reprogram itself to “you are loved and have always been loved”, replacing the old program of lack. Telling ourselves this is one thing but to truly experience it is another thing. Consciously choosing to release everything that we think that we are, keeps the space within clear, so that our own soul’s love can make itself evident and present (which it has always been). This is such a restful and rejuvenating experience.
There is a completeness and wholeness that has nothing to do with the external world, which is so vital to connect back in with, on a daily basis.
In gratitude to the beauty of our souls within.
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